P.J. O'Rourke

"I mean, so what if some fifty-eight-year-old butt-head gets a load on and starts playing Death Race 2000 in the rush-hour traffic jam? What kind of chance is he taking? He's just waiting around to see what kind of cancer he gets anyway. But if young, talented you, with all of life's possibilities at your fingertips, you and the future Cheryl Tiegs there, so fresh, so beautiful - if the two of you stake your handsome heads on a single roll of the dice in life's game of stop-the-semi - now that's taking chances! Which is why old people rarely risk their lives. It's not because they're chicken - they just have too much dignity to play for small stakes."
—from Republican Party Reptile

P.J. O'Rourke is America's leading political satirist and the best-selling author of twelve books. After graduating from Miami University in Oxford, Ohio and attending the graduate program at Johns Hopkins, O'Rourke began his career of skewering both the left and the right on the ends of his razor-sharp one-liners. Among the many publications for which O'Rourke has written are The National Lampoon (which he first joined in 1973, becoming editor-in-chief in 1978), Automobile, American Spectator, Playboy, Esquire, Vanity Fair, and Harper's. He was also the Foreign Affairs Desk Chief for Rolling Stone, a position which allowed him to expose the hypocrisies of world politics from the Persian Gulf to the Philippines. Currently he is the H. L. Mencken Research Fellow of the Cato Institute and a regular correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly.

O'Rourke's books have been translated into a dozen languages and have been best sellers worldwide. Three have been New York Times bestsellers: Parliament of Whores and Give War a Chance, both of which went to #1, and All the Trouble in the World. O'Rourke divides his time between New Hampshire and Washington, DC.

	Driving Like Crazy Thirty Years of Vehicular Hell-bending, Celebrating America the Way It's Supposed To Be -- With an Oil Well in Every Backyard, a Cadillac Escalade in Every Carport, and the Chairman of the Federal Res by P. J. O'Rourke ISBN: 0-8021-1883-6 - ISBN-13: 978-0-8021-1883-7 - US $24.00 - 5-1/2 x 8-1/4, 288 pp - June 2009 Driving Like Crazy brings together thirty-some years of journalistic cornering on two wheels, none of which has been reprinted before. Or almost none of which. P.J. did include his classic “How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink.” And he’s written an appendix to that piece of sage advices for those who, like himself, are thirty years older now: “How to Do Ditto While the Drugs Are Mostly Lipitor.”
	On The Wealth of Nations Books That Changed the World by P. J. O'Rourke Library Journal's Best Business Books of 2007 ISBN: 0-8021-4342-3 - ISBN-13: 978-0-8021-4342-6 - US $13.00 - 5 x 7 3/4, 256 pp - Jan. 2008 In On The Wealth of Nations, America’s most provocative satirist, P. J. O’Rourke, reads Adam Smith’s revolutionary The Wealth of Nations so you don’t have to. Recognized almost instantly on its publication in 1776 as the fundamental work of economics, The Wealth of Nations was also recognized as really long: the original edition totaled over nine hundred pages in two volumes—including the blockbuster sixty-seven-page “digression concerning the variations in the value of silver during the course of the last four centuries,” which, “to those uninterested in the historiography of currency supply, is like reading Modern Maturity in Urdu.” Although daunting, Smith’s tome is still essential to understanding such current hot-topics as outsourcing, trade imbalances, and Angelina Jolie. In this hilarious, approachable, and insightful examination of Smith and his groundbreaking work, P. J. puts his trademark wit to good use, and shows us why Smith is still relevant, why what seems obvious now was once revolutionary, and why the pursuit of self-interest is so important.
	Peace Kills America's Fun New Imperialism by P. J. O'Rourke ISBN: 0-8021-4198-6 - ISBN-13: 978-0-8021-4198-9 - US $13.00 - 6 x 9, 224 pp - May 2005 In his classic best-sellers, O’Rourke has reported from the front lines of world history, braving the bad traffic, weak drinks, and less than stellar golfing of countless hot spots of war, poverty, and repression. Now with his latest collection, Peace Kills, P. J. casts his ever-shrewd and mordant eye on America’s latest adventures in warfare. Imperialism has never been more fun. To unravel the mysteries of war, O’Rourke first visits Kosovo, where “NATO tried to start World War III without hurting anyone.” P. J. tackles the Middle East, a region he finds as confusing as the algebra they invented. Standing in one of Sadaam’s palaces in Baghdad, he decides, “If a reason for invading Iraq was needed, felony interior decorating would have sufficed.” Peace Kills is P. J. O’Rourke at his most incisive and relevant—an eye-opening look at a world much changed since he declared in his number-one national best-seller Give War a Chance that the most troubling aspect of war is sometimes peace itself.
	Give War a Chance Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice and Alcohol-Free Beer by P. J. O'Rourke ISBN: 0-8021-4031-9 - ISBN-13: 978-0-8021-4031-9 - US $13.00 - 5 1/2 x 8 1/4, 256 pp - Nov. 2003 In the spirit of his savagely funny and national best-seller Parliament of Whores, Give War a Chance is P. J. O’Rourke’s #1 New York Times best-selling follow-up. O’Rourke runs hilariously amok by tackling the death of Communism, sanctimonious liberals, and America’s perennial bad guy Saddam Hussein in a series of classic dispatches from his coverage of the 1991 Gulf War.
	Parliament of Whores A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government by P. J. O'Rourke ISBN: 0-8021-3970-1 - ISBN-13: 978-0-8021-3970-2 - US $14.00 - 5 1/2 x 8 1/4, 264 pp - Feb. 2003 In 1988 P.J. moved to Washington to take a long look at our government and to find an answer to the question every American asks: What the hell do these guys do all day, and why does it cost so goddamned much money? In his Introduction, P.J. proffers the theory that we are suffering under a dictatorship of boredom. In other words, every public issue and policy, every regulation, piece of legislation, executive act, and joint resolution is made so complicated, obfuscatory, and tedious that, as P J. puts it, "the regular people get hopelessly confused, as though they'd fallen a month behind in their high school algebra class." Who better to overthrow this tyranny than PJ.? Adopting the manner of a high school civics textbook, P.J. covers the three branches of government-legislative, executive, judicial-in a section entitled "Money, Television and Bullshit." Pulling off a true miracle of modem journalism he is even able to make the Farm Price Support Bill of 1990 interesting, as he recounts his own firsthand experience helping to artificially inseminate a cow (which, he discovers, is not done with a bull and some Barry White tapes in a heartshaped stall). In Parliament of Whores P.J. offers a guided tour of the U.S. government and a serious analysis of public policy that not only won't put you to sleep lout will make you laugh until your sides ache, and may even make you go out and vote.
	The CEO of the Sofa by P. J. O'Rourke ISBN: 0-8021-3940-X - ISBN-13: 978-0-8021-3940-5 - US $13.00 - 5 1/2 x 8 1/4, 288 pp - Sep. 2002 P.J. embarks on a mission to the most frightening place of all—his own home, where he faces a toddler who wants a cell phone, a freelance career writing articles like “Chewing-Mouth Dogs Bring Hope to People with Eating Disorders,” and neighbors who smell like democrats. Undaunted, P.J. holds forth on everything from getting kids to sleep to why Hillary Clinton’s election was a good thing (“We Republicans were almost out of people to hate in the Senate”). Funny, and no-holds-barred, CEO of the Sofa is trademark P.J.
	Holidays in Hell by P. J. O'Rourke ISBN: 0-8021-3701-6 - ISBN-13: 978-0-8021-3701-2 - US $12.00 - 5 1/2 x 8 1/4, 272 pp - July 2000 P.J. O'Rourke travels to hellholes around the globe in Holidays in Hell, looking for trouble, the truth, and a good time. After casually sight-seeing in war-torn Lebanon and being pepper-gassed in Korea, P.J. checks out the night life in communist Poland and spends Christmas vacation in El Salvador. Taking a long look at Nicaragua, P.J. asks, "Is Nicaragua a Bulgaria with marimba bands or just a misunderstood Massachusetts with Cuban military advisors?"; has a close encounter with a Philippine army officer he describes as powerful-looking in a short, compressed way, like an attack hamster"; and concludes, "Some people are worried about the difference between right and wrong. I'm worried about the difference between wrong and fun." "Whether you agree with him or not...he writes a helluva piece."—Richard Nixon
	Eat the Rich A Treatise on Economics by P. J. O'Rourke ISBN: 0-87113-760-7 - ISBN-13: 978-0-87113-760-9 - US $14.00 - 6 x 9, 272 pp - Sep. 1999 In P. J. O’Rourke’s classic best-seller Eat The Rich, he takes on an elusive subject, but one that is dear to us all—wealth. What is it? How do you get it? Or, as P.J. says, “Why do some places prosper and thrive, while others just suck?” Starting on Wall Street. P.J. takes the reader on a scary, hilarious, and enlightening world tour to investigate funny economics. Having seen “good capitalism” on Wall Street, he looks at “bad capitalism” in Albania, views “good socialism” in Sweden, and endures “bad socialism” in Cuba. Head reeling, he decides to tackle that Econ 101 course he avoided in college. The result is the world’s only astute, comprehensive, and concise presentation of the basic principles of economics that can make you laugh, on purpose. P.J.’s conclusion in a nutshell: the free market is ugly and stupid, like going to the mall; the unfree market is just as ugly and just as stupid, except there’s nothing in the mall and if you don’t go there they shoot you.
	The Bachelor Home Companion A Practical Guide to Keeping House Like a Pig by P. J. O'Rourke ISBN: 0-87113-686-4 - ISBN-13: 978-0-87113-686-2 - US $13.00 - 5 1/2 x 8 1/4, 176 pp - Apr. 1997 "Mowing is tedious and can be avoided by wetting down the yard with a fine spray of #2 heating oil. Or during the winter months you can sprinkle rock salt on the whole thing."—from The Bachelor Home Companion. In the inimitable style that has made him one of America's most popular humorists, P.J. provides an essential guide to the practical business of living in the modern world and provides that "Camus had it all wrong about the myth of Sisyphus—it's not symbolic of life, just housekeeping."
	Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut by P. J. O'Rourke ISBN: 0-87113-653-8 - ISBN-13: 978-0-87113-653-4 - US $13.50 - 6 x 9, 368 pp - Sep. 1996 Readers may be shocked to discover that America's most provocative (and conservative) satirist, P. J. O'Rourke, was at one time a raving pinko, with scars on his formerly bleeding heart to prove it. In Age and Guile Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut, O'Rourke chronicles the remarkable trajectory that took him from the lighthearted fun of the revolutionary barricades to the serious business of the nineteenth hole. How did the O'Rourke of 1970, who summarized the world of "grown-ups" as "materialism, sexual hang-ups, the Republican party, uncomfortable clothes, engagement rings, car accidents, Pat Boone, competition, patriotism, cheating, lying, ranch houses, and TV" come to be in favor of all of those things? What causes a beatnik-hippie type, comfortable sleeping on dirty mattresses in pot-addled communes—as P.J. did when he was a writer for assorted "underground" papers—to metamorphosize into a right-wing middle-aged grouch? Here, P.J. shows how his Socialist idealism and avant-garde aesthetic tendencies were cured and how he acquired a healthy and commendable interest in national defense, the balanced budget, Porsches, and Cohiba cigars. P. J. O'Rourke's message is that there's hope for all those suffering from acute Bohemianism, or as he puts it, "Pull your pants up, turn your hat around, and get a job."
	The Enemies List Compiled by P. J. O'Rourke ISBN: 0-87113-632-5 - ISBN-13: 978-0-87113-632-9 - US $11.00 - 6 x 9, 176 pp - Apr. 1996 Santa Has a List...Saint Peter Has a List...Joe McCarthy Said He Had a List...And Now, P. J. Has One of His Very Own...Check to See If You’ve Been Denounced! From Noam Chomsky to Yoko Ono, from Peter, Paul, and Mary (yes, they’re still alive) to all the people who think quartz crystals cure herpes, from Ralph Nader to the entire country of Sweden, P. J. O’Rourke has created a roster of the most useless, politically disgraceful, and downright foolish people around.
	Republican Party Reptile Essays and Outrages by P. J. O'Rourke ISBN: 0-87113-622-8 - ISBN-13: 978-0-87113-622-0 - US $13.00 - 5 1/2 x 8 1/4, 240 pp - Sep. 1995 The Republican Party Reptile is a creature of the eighties. It’s neoconservatism with its pants down around its ankles. In the twenty-one pieces in this book, P.J. O’Rourke, reactionary and humorist, articulates this strange philosophy and shows us the progenitor of the species (namely himself) in action. O’Rourke visits the Lebanese civil war and the Marcos election campaign, sees Russia through the bottom of vodka bottle, examines sundry aspects of Western civilization such as the great bicycle menace and the history of the last fifteen minutes, and even explains how to drive a pickup truck into the woods at sixty miles an hour. Mean, outrageous, and always funny, O’Rourke is, as Christopher Buckley has said, “S.J. Perelman on acid.”
	All the Trouble in the World The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty by P. J. O'Rourke ISBN: 0-87113-611-2 - ISBN-13: 978-0-87113-611-4 - US $15.00 - 6 x 9, 368 pp - Sep. 1995 Best-selling political humorist P.J. O’Rourke tackles the “fashionable worries”—the enormous global problems that are endlessly in the news and constantly on our minds but about which we mostly don’t have a clue, including overpopulation, famine, ecological disaster, ethnic hatred, plague, and poverty. He visits Bangladesh and Fremont, California. The two places have the same number of people per square mile, so how come George Harrison never held a concert to benefit suburban Californians? O’Rourke goes to Somalia and discovers that there’s plenty of food, you just have to be armed to get it. He travels to the Earth Summit and lets the hot air out of global warming theorists. He tours the old Communist bloc to ponder why, if government regulation is the answer to pollution, the most government-regulated countries were the most polluted. From angry chiggers in the jungles of Peru to irate coeds in Ohio, All the Trouble in the World is P.J. at his absolute best—with seriously hilarious takes on the issues that shape our contemporary world and plenty of swipes at the hilariously serious people who pontificate about them.
	Modern Manners An Etiquette Book for Rude People by P. J. O'Rourke ISBN: 0-87113-375-X - ISBN-13: 978-0-87113-375-5 - US $13.00 - 5 1/2 x 8 1/4, 300 pp - June 1990 In Modern Manners P.J. O’Rourke provides the essential accessory for the truly contemporary man or woman—a rulebook for living in a world without rules. Modern Manners is an irreverent and hilarious guide to anti-etiquette for the 1990s and beyond that offers pointed advice on a range of topics from sex and entertaining to reading habits and death. With the most up-to-date forms of vulgarity, churlishness, and presumption, the latest fashions in discourtesy and barbarous display, P.J. O’Rourke makes it easier for all of us to survive with style in a rude world. Rules include: “It’s better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than tospend tonight like there’s no money;” “Guns are always the best method for private suicide. Drugs are too chancy. You might miscalculate the dosage and just have a good time;” “A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat;” and “Never refuse wine. It is an odd but universally held opinion that anyone who doesn’t drink must be an alcoholic"