“At long last, after endless decades of pious piffle from the world’s vast army of goody-two-shoes, come two bold gentlemen from Britain to set the record straight. . . . How sage! How inspiring! How humane! In gratitude to Cockerill and Owen, saints masquerading as mere mortals, let us chant four choruses of ‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes.’” Jonathan Yardley, The Washington Post
The Easy Way to Start Smoking
978-1-84195-744-9 • $10.00 • Paperback • Mar. 2006
Ready to begin your journey as a smoker? Don't smoke quite as many cigarettes a day as you could? With helpful diagrams, creative tips, and a rigorous program, The Easy Way to Start Smoking promises solutions, and as a rollicking parody of self-help books, it will appeal to smokers and quitters alike.
Aimed directly at everyone who is sick of self-help books and fancy diets, The Easy Way to Start Smoking is a refreshing and caustically funny read. With Thurberian wit and the peculiar satire of The Simpsons, George Cockerill and David Owen urge their readers to start smoking, encourage them when they feel like giving up, and promise great joy at the end of the three-pack-a-day road. They teach postures for smoking and eighteen different ways to offer a cigarette to a fellow smoker. For those amateur smokers who keep forgetting to light up, they instill discipline and responsibility through an elaborate system of jolting alarms. The Easy Way to Start Smoking will charm anyone who has ever wondered if smoking will make them cooler (it will) or provide more opportunities to dip out of work for some sunshine (certainly) or what it would be like to be ruled by the desire to stick a cigarette in their mouth every ten minutes.
The authors supply an array of pragmatic advice, resources, a step-by-step program, and useful multiple choice questions.
So You Think You’re a Smoker? Answer some key questions:
It is the end of a wonderful dinner with a new lover. He/she asks you for a cigarette. You have seven cigarettes left. But you want one for now, one for the walk to the bus stop, one for waiting for the bus, one for the stairs to your apartment, one for bed, and two for the morning. Do you:
a) Give her a cigaretteyou can get by with only one upon waking
b) Pretend not to hear her and agree that the pirouette is the most delicate of all
c) Dump herclearly it wouldn’t have worked
Which is the best cigarette of the day?
a) The first
b) The one after dinner
c) Don’t force me to choose between my children