“Affecting . . . astonishingly revealing . . . For six million similarly afflicted American couples, the lessons to be learned from this candid account are as much about love and marriage as about infertility.” Kirkus Reviews
A Little Pregnant
Our Memoir of Fertility, Infertility, and a Marriage
978-0-8021-3745-6 • $13.00 • Paperback • Feb. 2001
What happens to your
marriage, your sexuality, and your self-image when you try and fail year after
year to do what comes effortlessly to almost everyone else: have a baby? How do
you know when it is time to move on to the next level of medical intervention,
or to adoption, and when it is time to stop?
In A Little Pregnant, Linda Carbone and Ed Decker offer a moving
appraisal of their wrenching, confusing, frustrating, and sometimes comic
attempts for nearly ten years to become parents. She feels ambivalent about
having children; he has an urgent need to have them, at all costs. In
alternating chapters, husband and wife present their own versions of their
descent into medical and marital turmoil.
This is a story of
self-discovery by two quirky observers, best friends who are deeply in love but
who rarely find themselves in the same psychological place at the same time as
the years and the diagnoses pile up. The endless parade of medical options
makes the couple’s doctor a collaborator in their drama. His role is
intensified as the wife’s friendship with him deepens into sexual desire.
Meanwhile, the husband, obsessively nervous about producing sperm samples on
demand and ever fearful that his wife will decide she’s had enough, finds
himself in the grip of anxiety attacks that send him into therapy.
Written with a
mesmerizing power and supple grace, this candid exploration of what infertility
can do to a marriage ranges from heartbreaking to hilarious, from cynical to
spiritual. Looking back on all the surgeries, miscarriages, fertility drugs,
and adoption attempts, and on the small army of professionals called on to
treat them, the couple examines the shifting permutations of loyalty and love
that brought them through a decade of pain and promise—culminating in the quiet
arrival of a child when all hope seemed lost.
For couples, for
parents, for fertility patients, and for all of us who have ever desperately
wanted something we couldn’t have or wondered how far we’d be willing to go for
the person we love, this poignant, compelling memoir will linger in the mind
and heart long after the last page is turned.